Teach Me

Teach Me
Teach me how to forget you.
Teach me how not to think of you when thinking is subconscious and each time it purposely involves you.
Teach me how not to remember your scent, the way you looked when you were serious,
the way your eyes widened when you were excited.
Teach how to forget the sound of your laughter, your breath brushing pass my cheek, the soft whisper in my ear, and the three sweet numbers rolling from your lips (143)

Teach me how to numb the ends of these severed emotions.
Teach me how not to see your smile in my mind.
Teach me how not to long for your warm touch.
Teach me how to move on when there's nothing left to have.
Teach me to not keep you as a lingering reminder of what I lost, what I could have had, what I wasn't good enough for, what I messed up, what chance I lost.
Teach me how to rewrite this story where in the end the tears are of joy.

Teach me how not to compare any new to the oldness of you.
Teach me how not to remember us, the good times, the bad times, the plans made, the time spent.
Teach me not to anticipate your return.
Teach me how to know that it is okay not having you around.
Teach me how not to read then reread each letter you sent.

Teach me to undeclare our song so that when it plays there is no slate of memories
Teach me how not to be so critical when it was just you being cynical
Teach me how to forget about you like you forgot about me.

-J. Renee

I hope you all are enjoying #NaPoWriMo #NationalPoetryMonth. I will also be posting my favorite poets.


I wrote this poem in 2010. Coming back to it now... it still holds truth and I'm sure many people can relate. Let me know your favorite lines in the comments.

Vulnerability

Tomorrow is the beginning of National Poetry Writing Month. The challenge is to write a poem a day for all 30 days in April. Anyone up for the challenge? I will be writing daily and I will be posting some of my poems here on the blog. Below is me oiling up my poetic gears. Each time I pick up a pen to write it always feels like something takes control.

Vulnerability
Letting you see the tears that flow from a place of shame and hurt

Vulnerability

Drawing closer to you with each thought and confessing that your well being and bringing you joy makes my world seem more than just all right 

Vulnerability 

Admitting when I'm wrong even when I'd convinced myself that I am never wrong 

Vulnerability 

Allowing you to be there next to me in the moments and places in which I don't even want to be there. 

Vulnerability 

Uncovering the growing pains of learning more about myself

Vulnerability 

Releasing the urge to always be in control and planned

Vulnerability 

Trusting to share my dreams and aspirations 

Vulnerability 

Giving my time and energy 

Vulnerability 

Exposing myself over and over to the possibilities of being embraced or rejected. 

Vulnerability 

Swallowing the mouthful of what point I wanted to make even when no point needed to be made.

Vulnerability 

Accepting help and advice and not just depending on myself

Vulnerability 

Saying a thing in which could make you seem brilliant or completely stupid but saying it anyway

Vulnerability 

J Renee

NaPoWriMo Day#11 | I Allowed It

NaPoWriMo is almost to the middle of the month. I'm excited to still accept the challenge each day to pen a poem. I think it has awakened my creativity. I hope that even after the thirty days are over that I will still continue to pen a poem in inspiration and out of inspiration.

I have been writing the poems on notebook paper or typing in my phone. I decided that I'm not going to post each poem and I will not be posting daily. This was the poem from day 11. Let me know in the comments what you think about the poem. If you're participating in the NaPoWriMo or if you write poetry let me know so I can check it out.

-Happy Writing!


I Allowed It

I allowed my imagination to run away
with my thoughts again.
It packed its bags and
ran out the back door late at night
when I didn't notice.
I was unaware of it for so long
that in the meantime
I started to believe those things
that actions proved weren't true.
I started to overlook things because of the words I heard playing over
and over in my mind.
I couldn't distinguish between my
desires and those desires imposed upon
and expected of me.
I can't take back the choices I made
since my imagination ran away.
It's not to blame;
I allowed it to happen.

Poetry form: Free verse
Topic: DayDreaming/Imagination
Word Count: 106
Literary Technique: Personification

© 2014 Jamie Dunlap

Charm for Good Hugs | #NaPoWriMo Day #3

One poem two versions...

I checked out the #NaPoWriMo website today for a topic to write today's poem. The topic is a Charm poem. This is a new form me. So below is my attempt to create one. It's a poem that has a recipe/nursery rhyme form. Enjoy!

Charm for Good Hugs Version 1

Lean forward
Reach around toward
Tuck your arms
Firmly rest your forearms
press each finger in to the soft
Rotate hand oft
Inhale his scent
Exhale in content
Bury your face
Pattern your ear to track his heart pace.

© 2014 by Jamie Dunlap

Word Count: 39

Charm for Good Hugs Version 2

If you see him and you want him, lean forward.
Reach around toward
Tuck your arms
Firmly rest your forearms

If you care and you show it
Press each finger in to the soft
Rotate hands oft
Inhale his scent
Exhale in content

If you love him and you know it
Bury your face
Because that will surely show a trace
If you love him and you know it
Track his heart pace.

© 2014 by Jamie Dunlap

Poetry Form: Charm
Topic: Hugs
Word Count: 79

Can you guess what nursery rhyme I used?

That Love That Gets You | NaPoWriMo Day #2

I get inspiration at the most random times. Last night I went to a midweek live concert at a local lounge here in the city. The opening acts had just finished gracing the stage. In between the opening acts and the headline, I had typed a whole poem on my spring pad app. Just like that day 2 was complete at about 9 something at night. Without further delay, below is what sprouted from my mind. It's in no way finished. I didn't type it on the blog yesterday, now that I'm reading back over it to type it now, I find there are more words I want to add and even some words I want to modify. I'm loving that this #NaPoWriMo is off to a spectacular start.

In true dual purpose, I am also submitting this piece as my first post in the Blog Behind the Look #CollabThursday #BloggersCollaboration.  Enjoy!

That Love That Got You | NaPoWriMo Day #2

Sitting at a small square shaped table
in the back corner of a cafe
Minding my own business until
I catch in my peripheral
a man and a woman in their twenties.
It is something about how they are looking at each other
that draws me to them.

Her left hand wrapped around his right arm
and her head delicately gracing his shoulder.
She's smiling.
He has this look of satisfaction.

You wouldn't think this is the scene at a lunch table but they
remain locked in arms
and I can tell that their love is new
That love that  gets you waking up in the morning
thinking about him.
That love that gets you sending pictures and text all day.
That love that makes you feel all tingly
just by the sound of his name.
That love that gets you smiling just by seeing his name
pop up on the phone dash.
That love that gets you replaying the last time you were together.
That love that gets you thinking about the next time you will see him.
That love that gets you wanting to hold his hands, his attention, and his lips.
That love that gets you on the phone for hours
sometimes just listening to background sounds.
That love that gets you daydreaming
about his last name right after your first.

I watch them

I admire them for how
free
innocent
new
their love is
But I can tell that they haven't weathered the test of time
and that
maybe
if
too strong a wind
or a storm might knock out
all that love built between them
if it came too soon.

A few minutes later, I spot another couple
This time I see that the lady's left ring finger is occupied.
She's not sitting next to him but across from him.
She's looking at him directly in his eyes.
They aren't saying anything, but they are saying so much
She doesn't have a smile on her lips but her eyes
are soft and joyous

Their interaction tells the story of love that has weathered through experiences.
They look like they have taken a couple of knock downs but refused to stay down.
Their war wounds have fortified their love and their genuine desire for each other.
They got that love that is always forgiving.
That love that's always supporting.
That love that's committed to being there
even when it's difficult.
That love that has them holding each other
physically
mentally
emotionally
That love that has them holding each other's heart.
That love that keeps them coming back home day after day to a family that needs each other.
A love that created a family.
A love that has taken part in uplifting each other and growing together.
They got that love that lasts.

© 2014 by Jamie Dunlap

Poetry Form: Free Verse
Topic: Love
Word Count: 467

Use your words and let me know what you think about the poem. What lines are your favorite? Any questions about the message? What do you notice? Let's dialogue!

Check out the other blogs that are participating in the Blogger Collaboration Challenge.


   

    An InLinkz Link-up
   

"It Was One of Those Awkward Moments | #NaPoWriMo Day 1

The first poem was written while I was covering a duty at work today. Like all my poems, I start with an idea and it usually flows from there. I didn't spend much time editing, so it was a quick write. It was penned quickly. Enjoy!


It was one of those awkward moments where
you don't know
what to do
what to say
or
where to look
All I could do was swing my arms and
occasionally shift my weight from my left foot to my right
It was me against them
Them against me
I wasn't keeping score
But it felt like I was winning
in this showmanship of awkwardness
Shooting my eyes to the left to try to think of something legit to say
Gnawing on the left inner part of my lip
Anticipating something--anything to break this episode.

Now for the master move.
Double the points.
I effortlessly grabbed my left wrist with my right hand.

© 2014 by Jamie Dunlap

Poetry Form: Free Verse
Topic: Awkwardness
Word Count: 113

Accept the Challenge and Spit Some Verses #NaPoWriMo

National Poetry Writing Month #NaPoWriMo kick starts in two hours and 55 minutes! I'm quite excited. I am challenging myself. I am determined to write at least one poem for each day in April. The pressure is on! No backing out now. I will be posting the poems here on the blog. Stay tuned for my verses! If you plan to join me, let me know so that I can check out your verses as well. :)

-Love, Life, and Verses

"Reflections" NaPoWriMo

It's Day #8 of NaPoWriMo. I started this poem with something more Easter-y in mind, but this is what came out. Bandages don't always allow wounds to heal... it only hides it for a while.

"Reflections"
By Jamie D.

Was it the way she wore her hair or the clothes she wore
I wanted to be her.
I pictured myself hanging out with her friends
And laughing at their jokes
When she made an “A”
It was like I had some personal achievement

Everything about her was perfect
Who looked like that in 3rd grade?
Every whispered rumor greeted her name
And I the recipient often wondered the truth behind it
Black girls hair couldn’t be that long
So she must be mixed
Her eyes kind of chinky
So she must be asian
She’s mighty light to be black
Only original white skin can look that flawless

Even in size we all failed in comparison
I still sporting an undershirt
and her growing out of a training bra

All my hopes to be like her
To be friends with her
Crashed and exploded
The first and consecutive times
She laughed
At me
Joked
On me

I loved every perfection that she graced
And like broken glass I shattered at how
incomplete and unfinished I was
She was polished and refined
How had my innocent admiration
Turned into a puddle of shame at my own face

I wanted to be her

The unspoken disconnection became real
I had transformed from being a vapor
in her presence
to being seen
and I hurt her eyes
I looked funny
I wasn't on her level.
but still I wanted to be her
Maybe if we traded places
she'd see the me
that I saw
or maybe we'd be equals

I wanted to be her.


-unfinished
(261 words)
8:51pm

"May I Help You"

Here's my new post for NaPoWriMo

“May I Help You?”
By Jamie D.

I felt your presence
Then we locked eyes
But not in your effort to pursue me
But rather to ask me if I needed help
I did think it slightly questionable when you passed
I felt a delay before you asked.

In another part of the store all alone
You found me again
Walking pass as if
Knowing I was now ready for your help
We locked eyes again
And it was very pleasant to look at you
Dark, smooth, chocolate skin
And those innocent, humble eyes
And the soothing voice slipping out.

Even at the register I found us locking eyes
In snyc again
No more help needed
No other connection to keep us in the moment
As I pushed through the door and entered outdoors
I wanted to glance back to lock eyes once more
Then I toyed with the fantasy
That’d you’d exit your store to stop
Me in the parking lot
And say, “I’d like to get to know you”
By the time I reached the car
It became real that maybe our eye flirting
Was merely the necessary looking in order to carry out your job
And me being solo in this miniature infatuation.
It doesn’t matter anyway, because I’ve appraised you as
an amateur.

210 words
&copy 2012

9:56 pm 4/6/12

" An Apology"

This is Day 4 of NaPoWriMo

I wasn't feeling well on April 2nd so I wrote two poems on April 3rd while at work. I missplaced the paper. Once I find it I will type it and post it.

I wrote this poem this evening. I thought it was funny yet real in the content but fictional in the actions of how it's presented. Let me know what you think.

"An Apology"
by Jamie D.
&copy 2012

She posted the letter to be printed in the newspaper
on her wedding day.
4 simple apologies.

She gift wrapped the article
and stored it in the groom's suite.

She had even posted it with her real
maiden name and included a picture for good measure.

He was all dressed
his heart beat was growing faster
as the time loss weight
for he couldn't wait
to hold his bride in his arms
he wanted to feel her soft cheeks
and hear her sweet voice whisper
"I love you forever"

Minutes before he was about to
leave his suite he saw
the nicely wrapped box
with a big bow sealing it.

His first thought was
to wait
but his curiosity urged him
to break the barrier.

He reached inside and
grabbed the paper.
Immediately he found his fiance's article
"To My Husband On Our Wedding Day"

She wrote: I need you to know these
4 things before you walk down
the aisle to say "I do".

I truly love you, but I must apologize now
for the days we will argue
over who left the cap off the tooth paste
or about leaving the toilet seat up.

I eagerly await the day to birth our child
but I must apologize for I will spoil him or her and all 5
will be named after me.

I have grown more fond of the way your laugh brightens a room, but
I have hated since
I first heard that awful rumbling in
your lungs, throat, and nasal passage
when you sleep.
I apologize that I have
ordered a separate twin bed for you.
We will meet only for conjugal visits and
sleep separately.

Lastly, to my dear gentle husband to be, I
cannot stand the aggravating sounds you make
when you chew food.
When we're at the dinner table
please learn to eat with your mouth closed.
I apologize for signing you up for etiquette classes.

Love your future wife.

Written 4/4/12 at 6:15p.m.

327 words


**If you could write your spouse or partner an apology letter for things you're going to do because of things they do that bother you, post it in the comments.

April is National Poetry Writing Month

Today is April 1st and it's the beginning of National Poetry Writing Month. I have accepted a challenge to write one poem (100 words or more) a day for the entire month. "May it be ever in your favor" *in my best Effie voice*. I will post the poems here daily. I may even highlight a poet or a poem that I like. It will be written on the day of the post. I use to write poetry all the time. Hopefully this will encourage me to get back to it. Today's poem is not a happy one; it comes from a place of confusion.


“This is Unhealthy”
by Jamie Dunlap

This is unhealthy
I wanted to know, but I wasn’t ready for the response.
I would have rather the question to go unanswered
and I fill in my own assumption that eased my mind
this is unhealthy.

I trashed every tangible picture, card, or text that you sent me
But there is not an eraser big enough to remove
the imprints
in my heart
or the spaces
taken up in my mind.
This is unhealthy.

When the simple progression of a day
Without
you on my mind
seems futile
when the following day is
inundated with fantasies
about our happily ever after
simply sent into overdrive
from a text.
This is unhealthy.

I refuse to believe
I am not dreaming.
Oh if I were the writer in this story
Rather a character acting out a subconscious
motivation.
This is unhealthy.
&copy 2012

(140 words)

Written 4/01/12 at 1:07 pm