Monday, June 30, 2008


When I drove up I noticed the people wrapped around the building. I walked in to the Shelby County Clerk's office today and apparently everyone else in the city had the same idea.. Gotta get tags. They weren't for me though I don't expire till later this year. I was getting the tags for my dad. So I made my way through the crowd and tore off a number, G52. I looked up at the count and it was on 66. Wait did they skip me? No they were on F66. Quite a way to go, right? They were moving pretty fast. I peered around and found me a seat next to a nice lady. I pulled out a novel, tried to sound out the noise, and I started reading. At about fifteen minutes to close one of the clerks made an announcement (were on F99 by then). One thing in particular caught my attention. WE NO LONGER ALLOW YOU TO GET TAGS FOR SOMEONE ELSE UNLESS YOUR NAME IS ON THE REGISTRATION... At that point I was like there are 52 more people before they get to me. I could sit and try my luck or not. So I called my dad, and he advised me to check downtown. I should have listened from the beginning but I absolutely dislike the downtown cluster of chaos called parking. But I headed on down there and I was in and out no questions asked. Apparently no one else likes going downtown either because up the road where I came from there were hundreds of people and downtown there were a handful.

I know you are like where is she going with the story. Well once I realized at the first office that they wouldn't be able to fulfill the service I sought... I got up and made my way through the crowd. I needed to try the other location before they closed. So as I was heading towards the door I thought, I have a ticket someone could have. I stopped to talk to a friend of the family who I hadn't seen in a while and asked her what her number was. She didn't need it because she came before me. I said, "Well I'm trying to give my ticket away." A lady in front of her turned around and said," Can I have it?" I'm like, "Sure I'm G52." She said," you are blessing me, thank you!" I don't know why that stuck with me. I don't know why I kept replaying those words in my head as I drove to the other location. "YOU ARE BLESSING ME, THANK YOU!" Six words, but even though she said I blessed her she was actually blessing me... I really don't know how yet but I was meant to hear that today.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Anticipation of "I Do"

I had the pleasure of staying up way past a nonexistent bedtime last night and I watched Essence's Will You Marry Me? The shows concept was interesting. I've seen tons of Bridezilla shows, and wedding planner shows but they never really tell about the proposal. The guys on this show were selected from the letters they mailed in that expressed their love for their girlfriends and their proposal. The letters were included in an issue of Essence magazine. They highlighted about 6 different couples. They talked about how they met each other, and they showed them planning and actually proposing. I think I even started crying when they were proposing. I think I was secretly living vicariously through their moment. lol! One lady was so nonchalant. After her boyfriend proposed her response was "Oh Sure". Another one of the couples were so cute and humble that I could feel the love through the tv screen. What was it about their union, that proposal that stuck out to me. Why did I cry with the future bride? Why did I imagine myself in her shoes?

This was the scenario: He had called their family and friends in and she was told they were going to a special movie screening. When the movie started it was her boyfriend talking about how they met, how much she meant to him, how he knew she was the one. Immediately tears streamed from her eyes. These were happy tears. When the movie stopped, he got down on one knee and said, I have known from when I first met you that I wanted to spend my life with you, grow old with you, have children with you, cherish you, and grow spiritually with you. Their belief in God and how it was him who had brought them together and how even in their union they would be faithful to him is what I think truly touched me. Most of the other couples (one other couple prayed with their minister after the proposal) made no mention... not to say they have any less of a relationship with God, but that was the difference, and what stood out about them.

Another couple had been friends for twelve years before they started dating and thus before getting engaged. They were really solidifying that friendship. I think it's important to have the friendship in any relationship... marrying your best friend. Every relationship takes work and good communication. So after the show ended I closed my eyes and I'm sure I went on to dream about my own anticipation of "I Do".

Saturday, June 28, 2008

I am questions with no answers.

This persistent question keeps coming to mine. You know that question that keeps you curious and keeps you wondering. The question that got you hoping, praying and wishing. I have a life planned out in my mind, but the question is what will it really be like? Can I fool myself into thinking my time line will match up with reality? Is where I want to see myself in 5 years where God plans to place me or am I living for my own agenda. We all do to an extent, but of course I want to be in line with my purpose and ultimately where I'm supposed to be.

Man this one question sends me so deep in thought that it's always unfinished so I treat it like a job. I spend a few hours working (in thought) then I clock out (to blah and to be zombied by tv ) only to return to the same question later. But man I love the payday... the answers. All answers come in due time... patience really is a virtue. Who will be the participants in my life? People who I thought would my friend for a lifetime have slipped away in the past despite how hard I wanted to hold on to the familiar. People guide us along... all stepping stones to where God wants us to go. Some people are hear for a lifetime, some for a season, and some for a reason. All encounters are meant to teach us something. You ever had that by chance meeting and felt so rich afterwards but didn't gain not a monetary cent? That person was just passing through to share something with you, enlighten you on something. I've always missed those who I've come to realize was only in my life for a season. Does that mean we were never really best of friends? What about past loves? Does that mean that person don't love me anymore? Who said you can just turn love off like that? It's not possible unless it was never there.

Friends for a lifetime man that's mighty... the longevity of a relationship. I have yet to have a friendship that has spanned many years. Experiences and different environments always allowed me to lose touch... Both parties agreeing that we let life keep us too busy to catch up with each others day to da. Goes back to the beginning... the question that keeps me thinking What will it really be like? Has my life thus far played out how I planned... not exactly. A number of things are missing... not in a certain peachtree state, no bling on my finger and lifelong love to remember, not counseling (in traditional sense), and I broke a promise I made to myself. Have I befriended the right people? Have I taken advantage of every opportunity? Interesting... I'm still filled with so many questions, but I have some answers to the last few rhetorical questions. But really what will my life be like?